The day Fuuma Layed an Egg
by reia-chan
Summary: Fuuma Lays an egg. See-- i mean, read this documentary and laugh!


Fic title: A walk in the CLAMP woods a.k.a. The Day Fuuma Laid an Egg  
  
Author: reia-chan and kei-chan  
  
Pairing: (' (o o) ') ~ pig  
  
Genre: humor [?!]  
  
This is dedicated to ryo-chan. happy Easter to the egghead!!!  
  
Comments: the characters in this short fic belong to CLAMP and others, so please do not sue me, or do anything cruel to me-- er, us... thanks.  
  
Just think of this fanfic as a Discovery Channel sort of program with Reia- chan narrating. That's the way we, uh, designed it to be. Also, with reia- chan narrating, it would sound really stupid.  
  
Thank you stiffy for giving us this wonderful idea!!!  
  
  
  
The Day Fuuma Laid an Egg  
  
It is a dark and stormy night. We will be watching a very rare End of the World event. We will be watching the ONLY bish that has a 'son' he didn't 'hatch' and he will be hatching his 'real son' in a few hours. Now we bring you to our FUUMA MONOU. *thunder strikes the narrator* [narrator: cough, cough…]  
  
  
  
Fuuma is perched up on a high tree at some downtown park in Tokyo. He is concentrating... thinking of his next attack.  
  
And how the hell he would go home dry. Wherever in hell home is.  
  
So, Fuuma stays on the tree, thinking, concentrating, imagining hentai things to do to Kamui when BAM! A stray lightning bolt hits the tree where he is thinking on. Most of you might think that this is the end of the great Fuuma. But you're wrong. CLAMP hasn't killed him yet. We just have to wait. And besides, Fuuma is too bish to die.  
  
So, our Fuuma is, even if some think of it as 'technically dead', fried to a crisp, black color and soaking wet. He is mumbling to himself. "Damn that Kansai Seal..." But it isn't really Sorata's fault. What an idiot our Fuuma is. Well, anyhoo, back to our story before any try-to-kill/hurt/maim/insult- Fuuma-Monou-and-i-promise-you-a-gruesome-death people come and kill me. Fuuma leaped in the air, wind and water slapped on his face. And all of a sudden, the clouds parted and revealed the bright warm sun that dried everything up in a few seconds. Except for poor Fuuma. "OK, so it's not that Seal's fault. It's the Sakurazukamori," he grumbled all the way. Our dear Fuuma shakes off the burns and ash on him, and miraculously, it works.  
  
So, and so, and so. Fuuma goes on, looking for another tree. He looks as if he doesn't know why. He is still in deep thought, still imagining hentai things to do with Kamui as he smiled ever so goofily whilst he imagined himself and Kamui on *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPU*. Ahem  
  
It seems that Fuuma-chan *bonk! Someone just hit our narrator* Ok, Ok narrator: sweatdrop. It now seems that Fuuma is having a serious convulsion. Now he's clutching his abdomen. What could this mean? We'll have to find out. OK, now as we close in on Fuuma, it seems that he has found a sanctuary inside a big hole in the tree. "Gods, not now!" Fuuma says urgently. Fuuma looks a little comfortable in his hole with all those soft leaves in there. All of a sudden, a pale head with pale blond hair popped out from under the leaves. "Daddy?" it squealed. Fuuma looks surprised [O.O] when he saw the head. Our Fuuma is now talking to that creature called Nataku. "What are you doing here? You scared me!" he said. "I was scared of the lightning so I figured I'd be safe here, daddy," Nataku said. It seems that Fuuma is starting to grow hot. It also seems that the space in the tree is too small to accommodate our Fuuma and Nataku, so Fuuma is half outside the hole.  
  
Look, Kamui Shirou seems to be passing by—and he sees the upper half of Fuuma sticking out of the tree. He snorts and starts to laugh. "Fuuma! What the hell are you doing there? Laying an egg?" Kamui snickered. Fuuma turned red with embarrassment and anger. "I AM NOT!" he screams. Kamui still laughs. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait till I tell the others!"  
  
"No you won't!" Fuuma screams again, his face still red, mostly of embarrassment. Oh, it looks like Fuuma's convulsions are getting violent. Nataku is still inside that tree. It seems that Fuuma is… is…  
  
"Daddy, you're a mommy now," says Nataku from the inside of the tree. Fuuma turns yet a deeper shade of red. Fuuma now disappears into the tree, while Kamui is laughing his head off. Fuuma's eyes grow big and white as dinner plates. Let's take a closer look. Nataku seems to be holding a… pebble? Fuuma's dinner plate eyes start to get watery and, oh, look, a stream of tears flow down. "All that for a little pebble?" he wails. Kamui was right that Fuuma was going to lay an egg! Kamui comes closer and peeks inside the hole. When he saw the tiny egg, he started to laugh hard again. Suddenly, the egg cracks. Fuuma stares in shock as the tiny pebble-like egg splits in half and from it, emerges a… a… wait a minute…  
  
Jack-in-the-box clown head with its thin springy body that looks like Fuuma with face paint.  
  
"Hi there you suckers!" the little jack-in-the-box clown head screeched.  
  
Fuuma, Nataku and Kamui all gape at the 'baby'. "That totally sucks," Kamui said before breaking into a fit of laughter. Fuuma appears to be really mad at Kamui now. Oh, and I think he's preparing to attack him. Oh, wait. He's picking up the jack-in-the-box clown head ["Yippee! Mommy's gonna take me for a ride!" it screeched] and…  
  
SPLAT! He threw the jack-in-the-box clown face straight at Kamui's laughing face, making it look like the clown face is actually kissing Kamui. "Bummer," Kamui squeaked before he plummeted six meters down the tree. "Hah! Laugh at that you stinkweed!" Fuuma barked at Kamui who was still face down on the ground.  
  
Nataku just seems to be puzzled that the jack-in-the-box clown head disappeared.  
  
I'm sorry, folks, but it seems that we have run out of time. See you next time in another stupidly made episode of A Walk in the CLAMP Woods! This is Reia-chan, signing of… *static* 


End file.
